The Optimistic Roma Tomato

It was a normal Sunday morning. I was scoping the garden for ripe tomatoes, and tucked in the back of the Roma plant, there he... hung. I squinted. Could that really be? Umm... yeah. Sure enough - this special little guy was ready. To be picked, I mean.

I giggled. And giggled. And then of course I took a few beauty shots (if I mention a fluffer wasn't needed, am I going too far?). I posted them on my Facebook page, but I was too embarrassed to email pics to my folks or my guy's folks. I mean... it's pretty pornographic, am I right?

Lewd or not, you gotta love the little guy – and I mean little – because the proportion... well, you see the picture. He's such a great example of working with what you got, and he has yet to waver from his optimistic state. As if he's saying, “Any takers? Come -on-. Come on!!”

Some of my Facebook friends got a kick out of him, too. Emily wondered if I'd been watering with Viagra. Mary pointed out a possible relation to Nude Man Carrot (oh. my. God!). Jennifer asked if I caught him staring lustily at the pictures on the seed packet. Allen said it's a common mutant.

Common! Well I never!

So I got up the courage to email the x-rated pic to my Dad. If it's so common (whatever Allen!), I'm sure he's experienced this in his many years of growing tomatoes. He replied with a photo of his own: “Yes, I have seen this in the 'standby' mode. See pic.”

I... I have no more words.