The Hazel Bloom

More Fun with Halloween-y Food - Marshmallow Eyes and Mummy Wraps

Here are two more Halloween-y food ideas, neither of which turned out well enough to warrant their own story, admittedly. But they were still fun, and it's Halloween, so what the heck.

I know, I know, I totally know. I said "Halloween-y."

When I was growing up, we had a curmudgeony (okay, downright scary) neighbor named Mr. Gray. He lived in a Gray house. His skin was gray. His hair was gray. His aura was... black.

Every Halloween, Mr. Gray would string a sign across his driveway. It said...

"No Halloweeners."

Of course, that would send my brother and me into hysterics. But only after we'd passed the serious house with barely-somber faces. And then we'd crack up. Hallo... weeners! It actually still makes me laugh. Only now I feel a little bad for Mr. Gray, too. If I'd known better back then, maybe I would have slipped a Halloween-y treat onto his porch.

And then ran for my life.

Anyway, here are the (I know, sorta lame) ideas for all you Halloweeners. I was a little obsessed this year, planning and scheming for the little shindig we threw. (I've garnered a reputation amongst friends and family for going overboard when entertaining. I can't imagine why.)

Marshmallow Eyes...

and Mummy Wraps!

Here's how to do it yourself, if you are so inclined.

Marshmallow Eyes

Note: These are pretty messy to make. And the eyeballs melt in your cocoa after a minute or two. And they're fairly imperfect. I think they're fun anyway, but I'm just making sure you know.

Ingredients:

• Full-sized jet-puffed marshmallows
• Colored mini marshmallows (just use the green ones, trust me)
• A little powdered sugar

Instructions:

1. Throw a little powdered sugar onto a cutting board. This will help the marshmallows keep from being too sticky when you're messing with them.
2. Cut the marshmallows in half. Set the sticky side in the powdered sugar.
   
   
   
3. Using a paring knife, poke a hole just a little off center.
   
   
   
   
4. Stick your finger through the hole to help widen it. The idea is to make a hole big enough to work the mini marshmallow in, but not so big it'll fall out.
   
   
    
   
5. You've got the hole, now stick the mini marshmallow in! Okay, fine, here's the reason why I recommend you stick with the green mini marshmallows only: The yellow mallows just end up looking like eggs. And the pink and orange? Mini boobs. I'm just letting you know!
   
   
   
   
6. Push the mini eyeball marshmallow in so it's flush with the surface of the marshmallow.
7. Soon you will have a whole sea of eyes.
8. Plop two at a time atop a mugs of cocoa, and prepare for a stare down!

Mummy Wraps

The truth is, and I know this, that these would look WAY better and more recognizable as mummies if they had little mustard-dotted or otherwise-created eyes. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. They reminded me too much of creepy babies.

I told you guys I had an overactive imagination.

But they're still fun to make, and people love them.

Ingredients:

• One package little smokies like Hillshire Farms' version (P.S. To Hillshire Farms - I hate your Go Meat campaign!)
• One tube refrigerated crescent rolls like Pillsbury

Instructions:

1. Unroll the crescent roll dough onto a cutting board or other appropriate surface
2. With a pizza cutter, slice it into long, skinny pieces. No perfection, please, it has no place here!
   
   
   
   
   
3. Wrap one or two of the dough strands around each lil smokie. Wrap around a couple of times, then cross back over the sections you just wrapped for a more mummy-licous look.
   
   
   
4. Follow the instructions on the dough tube for baking.
5. Let cool, then refrigerate up to 24 hours before serving. I like to serve with straight-up mustard for dipping.

Wow. I only now just realized I should have really called these Hallo-wieners.

Oh well. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Spider Cake

While planning our little Halloween shindig, one of my first food ideas was to make a spider-shaped cake.

He's made from a dome-shaped cake a'la the famous Barbie skirt cake, which I thought would also work out to be the perfect shape for our little buddy. The idea for Barbie cakes is this: Bake your cake in an oven-safe bowl, plop it out inverted, frost it, and stick Barbie in feet first so that it looks like her billowy dress. Hoo boy. I'm actually kind of surprised I didn't beg and plead for this one when I was a kid.

I baked a test cake first, in an oven-proof bowl from Crate and Barrel. I used a boxed cake mix, and yay, it baked up fine - after about 60 minutes in the oven.

So as the party neared, I decided to bake the real deal. But the spider's innards could be no ordinary cake. What would be better than cutting into the spider only to reveal bright red innards, a'la the famous Steel Magnolias armadillo cake? Enter: My first ever attempt at Red Velvet Cake - baked in a bowl!

Unfortunately, this one took about an hour and a half to bake all the way through. So the outside was nice and crisp by the time the inside was cooked. I figured I was SOL (Spider Out of Luck). Note lack of photographs from here until the surprisingly decently happy ending.

The next morning, with barely a glimmer of hope, I hacked off the burned outer layer and, because I was actually left with a reasonable amount of still-dome shaped cake, I decided to give it a whirl. I made yummy chocolate cream cheese frosting (see recipe at bottom), and frosted that dome to within an inch of its life (and actually probably about an inch thick). It worked!

So here's the deal. I'm just going to give you a few spider cake instructions, and a frosting recipe, and I'm sorry, but I don't have very many photos. But I promise, this really is super easy once you figure out the dome cake. Make the dome cake in a well-greased oven safe bowl (I hear Pampered Chef batter bowls are perfect), frost it, put on the candy face and some licorice legs! Boom, fresh spider!

Spider Cake

Ingredients:

• One cooled dome-shaped baked cake (see, I jumped right to the cake. Just prepare your batter that you know will bake up correctly in your bowl [boxed cake worked for me, red velvet cake didn't]. 
• One batch Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting (below)
• Two sour apple slice candies
• Two blackberry gumdrops
• One red licorice strong
• Two candy corns
• Eight strands of black licorice vines
• Note on the candy: I raided the bulk foods section at my local grocery store. This place is genius for finding pieces for things like this. 

Instructions:

1. Using a sharp serrated knife, slice the dome shaped cake horizontally into two pieces. Set the larger piece, flat bottom down, on your cake plate, and frost the middle of the cake with about a half inch of icing.
2. Top with the second piece, flat side down.
3. Frosting the sides first, and then the top, make sure the entire cake is covered in a thick layer of frosting. Just try not to melt down, and quit fantasizing about being the next featured story on Cake Wrecks. Oh wait, sorry, this is going to be working out WAY better for you at this point than it was working out for me. 
4. Take the sour apple rings, and shove the blackberry candies through from the green side out the white side, in a spiderly eye fashion.
5. Stick the eyes on the cake. Wasn't that easy? He's starting to look like a cute, albeit dorky, spider! He also looks kind of like a legless octopus. (Ooh, I think someday I'll make an octopus cake.)
   
   
   
6. Unroll the red licorice and cut off about four inches or so. This is the mouth. Apply to cake!
7. Stick the candy corns under the red licorice, point down. These are the spider fangs, or whatever those things are on spiders. I sort of like to think of them as buck teeth, too.
   
   
   Lookin' good!
8. Bend the licorice pieces in the middle so they're just a little bent. And just stick four into the cake on either side. Legs!
9. We added a couple antennas over the eyes, too, just to add to the dorky effect.
10. Sprinkle with chocolate sprinkles - I just kept them on the top, mostly, as I was liking the idea of a hairy-backed spider.

And that's it! We kept him chilled until about an hour before serving time.

Even with all the troubles with the red velvet cake, it was worth it. For one, it really was delicious. For another, I have to admit I loved cutting into this poor little guy and revealing his red innards. I'm a sick, twisted woman.

And here's the chocolate cream cheese frosting. It's really really easy, and really really good. Really.

Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

Adapted from Food Network's Cream Cheese Frosting recipe

Ingredients:

• 1 pound cream cheese, at room temperature
• 4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
• 1/2 cup cocoa (I used Scharffen Berger for this one)
• 2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, softened
• 4 cups sifted confectioners sugar - whoops! That's only FOUR cups of confectioners/powdered sugar total. Apologies!
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions:

• Beat the cream cheese, powdered sugar, cocoa, and butter on low until it all comes together, then beat on high until light and fluffy - about five minutes.
• Add the vanilla, then beat again until it's fluffy.
• If necessary, you can chill this to make it thicker.

Jack O'Lantern, Trompe L'oeil Style

I know my friend Todd because of my guy - they've been buddies for so long, they're pretty much brothers.

Todd's not only one of the nicest guys I've ever met, he's a talented artist. Which is totally cool. Except when you're over in your corner trying to create your jack o'lantern masterpiece, and he's over in his corner with his paints and his talent and his silent concentration, creating something that actually IS a masterpiece and not just a couple gourds toothpicked onto a pumpkin.

Show off.

Here are just a few of the sketched ideas Todd whipped out effortlessly, while I was over in my corner grunting and groaning, trying to hack through the top of my thick-skinned pumpkin so I could get to the guts.

Joker pumpkin?! A one-eye! An evil clock! My God, it took me a month to come up with one idea. He whips 12 out in five minutes.

Here Todd is beginning the process. He paints on the eyes with finesse while I'm attempting - unsuccessfully - to saw a gourd in half with a steak knife.

Check out this mouth! With the use of way more colors than is evident, he's created the effect of a carved pumpkin, without all the seeds and gunk.

Hey, my Owl O'Lantern's beak turned out pretty good! Take that, Mr. Artiste!

And the top of his creation - looks like it comes off, but no! It's all paint!

Jack O'Lantern trompe l'oeil. Who knew.

I have to admit, it's one impressive jack o'lantern masterpiece. I suppose.

Good job, Todd. :)

Owl O'Lantern

 

I'm noticing a trend in my pumpkin carving choices the past few years. No mere human face or monster pumpkins, mine are all about sweet animals, it seems. Two years ago, it was a manatee. Barbara Manatee, to be exact.

I know, I know. A bit of a stretch.

Last year, it was a spider with brown pipe cleaner legs (and I can't find a photo of him, wah). I'm a minor arachnophobic, but he was pretty cute and surprisingly... accessible... for a spider. But then I'm biased - I created him, after all. (Pumpkin carving makes me feel all mad scientist. "Muahahah... I shall create... cute animals!")

This year, I was stumped almost right up to carving time. Who was it going to be? The answer, as it turned out, was right in front of my face. I've got them everywhere. My owl obsession just keeps growing.

I have an owl pillow, owl mug, owl pendant, owl earrings, and an owl piggy bank. And a big hanging ceramic owl bell, just like the one my mom used back in the day to ring us in for dinner.

And after six months of coveting him from afar, I now have the most adorable stuffed owl ever. He lived at my local grocery store, in the floral section. Here's a picture from the first time I saw him:

But I couldn't bring myself to pay $20 for him when I'd just bring him home and my dogs might do this to him:

Poor Sharkey. May he rest in peace.

So I'd visit the owl every time I went grocery shopping. I may have even named him Stu at some point. I'm weird that way.

But my birthday was a couple days ago. And he'd been there since April! Clearly waiting for me! I had to pick up a couple of groceries that night, my birthday night. And... I brought him home. (He will live up very, very high, out of reach of the canine crazies.)

My love for owls is rooted in nostalgia, sure - my Mom collected them, too - but doggonit, they're also just darn cute! Big eyes, fat fluffy bodies, cute little beaks, inquisitive natures (or so it seems). So, *ding!* An owl o'lantern it was.

Shall I post instructions, just in case you, too, are owl-obsessed?

Here's how:

Owl O'Lantern

Ingredients:

• One large pumpkin - taller than it is wide, but still nice and owly plump around the middle
• Two white mini pumpkin gourds
• One tiny little gourd of your choice (for the ears)

Instructions:

1. Do your normal thing with the pumpkin - cut off the top, and hollow it out.
2. Slice the white mini pumpkins in half horizontally, and scrape the seeds out. The tops with the stem will be the eyes. The bottoms will be the feet.
3. Cut the little gourd in half. You may need to recruit big strong men to hacksaw it in two, they're tough little suckers (Thanks Jon!). Scrape the seeds out.
4. Hold the white mini pumpkin halves (eyes) up to the big pumpkin, and mark the circumference of the eyes.
5. Cut out holes about a half inch in from where you marked the outside of the eyes. In other words, the holes will be smaller than the actual eyes.
6. Preferably with one of those awesome pumpkin-scraping tools, scrape the pumpkin skin off to reveal the pulp underneath (I found a circular motion the easiest), until you've got a circle that's just bigger than the eyes. That makes sense when you look a daylight photo, right? I hope so.
7. Poke toothpicks into the top and the bottom of the mini pumpkin eyes, then poke them into the pumpkin. He can see!
8. Carve a small inverted triangle just below the eyes, for the beak.
9. Using toothpicks, stick the mini gourd halves, hollowed-out side facing to the front, onto the top of your owl o'lantern. Ears!
10. Prop the two remaining mini pumpkin halves under the bottom of the pumpkin for little feet.

Who created a very cute owl o'lantern? You!

"Is... is there something behind me?"

Good God!

Whew.

Tomorrow: Todd's trompe l'oeil jack o'lantern. Whadda show off!

Vintage Postcards: Part 1

I'm mildly obsessed with vintage postcards. I love the colors, the scenes, the sayings. And the stories.

My favorite came from an antique mall somewhere in Connecticut, years ago. It was February, an especially dark and dreary month after several dark and dreary months back home in Seattle. While Connecticut wasn't exactly a tropical getaway, the weather cooperated and the escape to somewhere new was helping my winter gloom lift.

As I stood in the dusty antique store, sifting through boxes of postcards, I came across this:

A couple picnicked under an umbrella while a waterfall spilled out of pinky purple hills in the distance. "The scenery here is beautiful, the change seems to be doing me good." Maybe people have always desperately needed a change of scenery now and then!

The coolest is when I uncover a postcard I love, and then find something quirky or just plain poetic written on the back. But the "Change of scenery" postcard simply says...

"Homer". Was she writing herself a note, to remember the name of her traveling companion? Was he writing to his son, but found himself a at a loss – meaning to pick it up later, but just never did? Or was she getting up the nerve to engage her soulmate, ultimately losing her nerve (or maybe she just found a better postcard)? Yeah, this kind of thing feeds into my overly dramatic mind like a dream.

My second favorite postcard has little well-dressed mice teeter-tottering on a twig.

Cute! Whimsical! But the best part? It's written on the back:

"Be Fun!" it says.

"There is so much fun in the world - that even the wee mice can share in it. - yes, and your wee brother, too. He would look good sitting on the middle of the teeterboard!

For small JAMES
~ your Uncle Harold."

Yes, I love my vintage postcards, but I've moved so much over the years, and then (shame on me!) not necessarily taken care of them like I should have. Or I've just plain forgotten that I bought a batch at all – like the dozen or so California postcards I came across this weekend. They're awesome. And mostly still in perfect shape, thankfully - poor neglected things. (They'll be Vintage Postcards: Part II).

As far as the teeter-tottering mouse postcard goes, it hasn't fared quite as well, as you can probably see in the photo. I must've spilled something on it somewhere along the way. Sad. But the message has survived – and what a great one it is.

"Be Fun! There is so much fun in the world, that even the wee mice can share in it..."

I'm pretty sure Uncle Harold was onto something.

---

Here's Part 2!

Pumpkin Ginger Mini Cheesecakes with Dark Chocolate

After just a few short weeks of doing this blog thing, I'm realizing how common, natural, and cliche it is to start a story with "I love..." It's just that, this is what it's about! Stuff I love!

But I think I need to mix it up a bit, come in at things at new angles, or at the very least get my thesaurus out. That said...

I adore cheesecake. I crush on, cherish, am captivated by, and think the world of it. I know, I know, it's a little unhealthy to be so wild for a dessert. Lest I go overboard, I do make it rarely... and sometimes, I like to make it mini.

Just a few little bites of bliss.

I came up with this version after I picked up a few boxes of Anna's Ginger Thins - have you ever had these? If not, get thee to a cookie aisle stat! They're yummy crisp gingery thins in cute little flower shapes - low calorie, no trans fats, gotta love them. Er, admire them.

Anyway, I thought they'd make an excellent crumb-based cheesecake crust... and with pumpkin cheesecake (adapted from Paula Deen's pumpkin cheesecake recipe), all the better for this time of year. Topped with a little dark chocolate, they were perfect for our little Halloween shindig. Or anytime.

Here's the recipe:

Pumpkin Ginger Mini Cheesecakes with Dark Chocolate

Makes 18 mini cheesecakes

Ingredients

Crust:

• One box Anna's Ginger Thins (5.25 ounces)
• 4 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:

• 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese at room temperature
• 1 cup pureed or canned pure pumpkin
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Topping

• 4 ounces of your favorite dark chocolate (I used 70% dark chocolate bites from Trader Joe's) 

Instructions

1. CRUST: Turn the oven to 350. Place cupcake liners into 18 (regular sized) muffin cups, and lightly spray with Pam.
2. Place the ginger thins into a Ziploc bag, and crush with a glass or rolling pin.
3. In a bowl, mix the ginger thin crumbs with the melted butter.
4. Place a heaping tablespoonfull of the crumb mixture into each muffin cup.
   
   
   
5. Press the crumbs firmly into the lined muffin cups. If you're lucky, you have a guy who kept various beer sampler glasses from Beerfests past. This works perfectly for me. A small juice glass or shot glass might work, or you can just press with your fingers.
   
   
   
   
6. Bake for 6-7 minutes, until set, then remove and set aside.
7. FILLING: Start with the cream cheese - beat for a couple minutes until it's smooth and starts to get a little fluffier. Add eggs, sugar, pumpkin, sour cream, and spices. Then add the flour and vanilla. Mix until well combined. Note: Do not carelessly place the eggs on the counter where one may roll off. Just sayin'.
   
   
   
   Anyway. Coming together!
   
   
   
   
8. Pour about 1/3 cup worth into each muffin cup. I know, I need a new muffin pan.
   
   
   
   
9. Bake at 350 degrees for about 25 minutes. You want the cheesecakes to be JUST past being jiggly in the middle.
10. Remove from oven and let cool for 15-20 minutes. Sorry, I should have taken a picture of them right after I pull them out of the oven. They looked like the photos of the finished products, except a little more puffed up in the middle, if that helps.
11. Wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
12. TOPPING: This part is fun. Cover a cookie sheet with parchment paper.
13. Chop up the chocolate, and place in a microwave-safe bowl with 1/2 teaspoon vegetable shortening.
14. Microwave on high for 30 seconds, remove, and stir. Continue to microwave in 15 second intervals, removing and stirring, until the chocolate is just melted. 
15. Spoon the chocolate into a Ziploc bag (or pastry bag).
16. Snip the end of the Ziploc bag JUST BARELY. You just want a tiny hole.
    
    
    
    
17. Now draw with chocolate! Squirt the chocolate onto the parchment-paper-lined cookie sheet. Make any little shape you want to top your cheesecakes with. I was making these for our Halloween party, so I opted for spider webs and spiders. Well... I attempted spider webs and spiders. I'm no artist. See?
    
    
    
    (But you know, it seems like people are always impressed with chocolate shapes, no matter what. I think it's just the fact that you went to the effort. Or maybe just because, hello, it's chocolate. Chocolate always looks great.)
    
    
18. Set your chocolate art aside to harden. If you do this at room temperature, it may take an hour or more. Or you can refrigerate to accelerate the process.
    
    
    
    
19. ASSEMBLE: Remove the cheesecakes from the muffin tin. It may help to use a butter knife on the outside of the cupcake liner to gently pry it out.
20. Carefully remove the chocolate shapes from the parchment paper, and arrange on top of the cheesecakes.
21. Enjoy! And/or, let your guests enjoy. (A very important step!)

Deviled Egg Eyes

I thought I'd dreamed up this idea all by myself, but a quick Google tells me otherwise. Deviled eggs! Made to look like eyes! The perfect Halloween hors d'oeurve! I guess I can see how I wouldn't be the first person to dream this one up. It's not much of a stretch. Ah well. I still love how these turned out.


 
Here's how:

Deviled Egg Eyes

• One dozen eggs and preparations for your fave deviled egg recipe (I just smash up the yolks with about 1/2 cup of mayo, about 1 tablespoon of mustard, a couple drops of tabasco, and salt and pepper to taste)
• Green food coloring
• Blue food coloring
• Ziploc baggies
• Black olives
• Paprika
• Toothpick

Instructions:

1. Slice hard boiled eggs in half and mash yolks using your favorite recipe
2. Add three or four drops of green food coloring
3. Spoon half the yolk mixture into a Ziploc bag (or a pastry bag)
4. Cut off the tip of the bag
5. Pipe into egg halves by the pair
   
   
6. Mix three or four blue drops to the remaining yolk mixture
7. Spoon into a new Ziploc bag, cut off the tip, and pipe yolk mixture into remaining pairs
8. Cut the sides of the black olives so that they're fairly round (my guy was so good at this, I had him cut them all. Boy, was he thrilled!)
   
   
   
9. Place them in the center of the deviled eggs like pupils
10. Pour some paprika onto a plate and wet with enough water to make a paste
    
    
    
11. Using a toothpick, lightly draw on a few veins here and there

That's it. Deviled eggs that are outta sight!

 

Spiderrific Rolls

I had so much fun playing with breadstick dough when I made witch's finger breadsticks, that I thought I'd try my hand at something else. Something creepy, something crawly, something... arachnidy.

 

I always did love Playdoh (ranked behind the #1 Lincoln Logs, of course). And don't even get me started on Cranium. Whenever we're playing Cranium and I get sculpturades, I practically feel like I've won the lottery. "Create the word 'backyard' with a golfball sized lump of purple clay in 60 seconds! Go!" (I don't care what anyone says, Cranium is a friggin' blast.)

So go forth and indulge your inner sculptor, gosh darnit! Make some Spiderrific Rolls! They're are oh-so Halloween appropriate perched atop a big bowl of soup or chili. Note: Nothing to do with sushi. But I think that was already painfully clear.

Spiderrific Rolls

Ingredients:

• Refrigerated breadsticks in a roll (like Pillsbury)

That's it!

Instructions:

1. Roll out the breadsticks, and cut each breadstick in half lengthwise - so your one breadstick is now two skinnier breadsticks. (If only it were this easy to make myself skinnier.)
   
   
2. Each spider takes four of the long skinny pieces. Cut piece one in half at about the 1/3 mark.
3. Roll the bigger piece into a ball (this will be the body).
4. Roll the smaller piece into a ball (this will be the head).
5. Press the head onto the front of the body. Go ahead, smoosh it in good.
   
   
6. Lay the remaining three long dough pieces over the top of the body. But really, this is the underside of the body, and as I'm sure you figured out long ago, these will be the legs. Yes, I know spiders have eight legs, but frankly, I don't want to be eating something that truly resembles a spider anatomically. I have an irrational fear of the real thing. Please, though, go further if you like. Go all eight!
   
   
7. Pick the spider up carefully, and flip it over onto the cookie sheet so that where the legs stick on the underbelly is now facing down.
8. Arrange the legs just so - in a very spiderly fashion.
   
   
9. Bake at 350 degrees for about 12 minutes. I start checking after about 10, because our oven can be hot.
10. Let cool for five minutes or so.
11. Add a little butter if you like, and serve!

Or, you know, perch.

45 Cent Potato Soup

Initially I was going to round up the amount and call this 50 Cent Potato Soup, but then I remembered the rapper (aka: "Fiddy") and wasn't sure how a frugal soup recipe could successfully have anything to do with a guy whose big album was "Get Rich or Die Tryin'."

And so, introducing: 45 Cent Potato Soup!

It's super easy to whip up a pot of this hearty and flavorful soup, and it's one of my go-to weeknight meals for that reason. It's great comfort food for a blustery cold day, perfect with a big hunk of crusty bread. And did I mention that, by my estimation, it costs only about 45 cents per serving? 

Here's the recipe:

45 Cent Potato Soup

Adapted mostly from the Unbelievably Easy Potato Soup recipe posted by Vina on Recipezaar

4-5 medium russet potatoes, peeled and diced
1 medium onion, diced
1 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped carrots
3/4 cup milk
1/4 cup chopped parsley (optional)
Salt and pepper
Optional toppings like chives, scallions, bacon bits, butter, cheese, or whatever else your heart desires

1. Throw the potatoes in a large pot with the onion, celery, and carrots.
2. Add water to JUST BELOW the top of the vegetables (don't add too much, or your soup will be too watery).
   
   
   
3. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer for 30 minutes or so. 
4. Mash everything directly in the pot with a potato masher, but leave some chunks.
   
   
   
5. Add the milk (use a little more or less to get the consistency you want).
   
   
   
6. Stir in the chopped parsley, if adding, and add salt and pepper to taste. You'll probably want to add quite a bit of salt - I start with about a teaspoon, taste, and add from there.
   
   
   
7. Heat it back up, top with any extra goodies (if you're feeling really brave, add a little pat of butter!) and serve.

Comfort food on the cheap. Rap about that, Fiddy!

Witch's Finger Breadsticks

Come hither, my pretties. That's right... just a little bit closer.

These numbers – or shall I say, digits – beckon everyone to bite the hand that feeds them. Well, at least the fingers. Possibly the creepiest breadsticks ever, these witch's fingers are great for dipping in soup or chili, or scooping up some marinara (ooh, bloody looking! Perfect!)

 

I wish I could say I pinpointed this idea all by myself, but I actually borrowed it from this Cheddar Witch's Fingers recipe from Sunset. While I'm all for homemade cheese crackers like in the Sunset version, (my mom makes the most amazing cheese crackers, that reminds me – I really need to get her recipe), I'm a little short on time lately, so I decided to do this the easier way.

Enter: Pillsbury!

With a tube of Pillsbury breadsticks and a pack of sliced almonds, I whipped up some creepy severed breadsticks in as many minutes as I can count on both hands. Too bad there are a couple of witches out in the world who won't be able to say the same anymore... mua ha ha ha ha!

Here's how to make 'em:

Witch's Finger Breadsticks

Ingredients:

• One roll of Pillsbury soft breadsticks
• Handful of sliced almonds (that pun was unintentional. Promise.)
• For some extra flavor, some melted butter and grated parmesan

Instructions:

1. Turn the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Unroll the breadsticks onto a large cutting board (or your counter or wherever you like to do doughy things)
3. Using a pizza cutter, slice each breadstick into two skinnier versions like so:
   
   
4. Place the long, skinny dough pieces in a row on a cookie sheet.
5. Pull each long skinny piece into two pieces. Grabbing with your very own fingers near the middle, pull them apart, and then cut again down the middle with the pizza cutter, so that each long skinny dough piece is now two.
6. Press a sliced almond onto the tip of the skinniest end of the breadstick dough (hopefully in the middle, this is why I had you pull them apart a little) - that'll help 'em look a little more like fingers. Really, it's all about the nasty almond fingernail. so even if you just cut them in half without all the pulling nonsense, they'll still look fine.
   
   
7. If you're adding butter and parmesan, use a pastry brush to brush a little melted butter onto the dough now, and then sprinkle on the the cheese.
8. Bake for about 12 minutes, until they're puffy and start getting the teensiest brown on the top. I start checking at about 10, but ovens vary.
9. Let cool for five minutes or so, then using a turner, remove the breadsticks from the cookie sheet.
10. Arrange on a plate or anywhere else you, and everyone else, will be able to fully appreciate them in all their super-severed glory.

 

And give yourself a hand!